Life, Lifestyle

Mom Guilt and Other Hardships, Part II

There is so much I want to talk about when it comes to mom guilt and other hardships that moms go through as they’re helping their littles grow into adults. I’m sure I’ll talk about it over and over again because I want moms to know they are not alone. I have not always felt that way. There are many times I feel extremely alone, especially going through a divorce. In a small town like Annapolis, there is a lot of prejudgment and judgment without fully knowing any of the information. I was also not strong enough to know I should’ve talked about it even when I was told not to. So now I want moms to know it’s ok to talk about your mom guilt and the difficult parts of your life. That is how you will find your people and that is how you will find help.

One of the things I’ve been feeling so guilty about is how stressed I can be and how that affects Tim. I know the poor kid is young and curious and talkative and most times I can take that. But Tim grew out of naps a lot sooner than his friends did so mama misses those days. The days where I could get all the cleaning, laundry, and dishes done during those two hour naps. Or when I started working from home and I could have conference calls and get work done without the “Mom!” every five minutes. I really want to nurture that curiosity but it’s hard sometimes and I don’t always keep my cool. And later, I’m left with this guilt even though he is skipping along as if nothing happened.

Mom friends, that is ok! You are human even though you’re mom. I want you to know that! I was so harsh on myself for so long because I would “seemingly” see all these moms just doing everything well and looking at me like “what’s their deal” or “what’s wrong with her and her kid?” Tim has always been a very active boy and I took that very hardly. I felt very judged and honestly I still do. But now I do have a little more solace. I’ve met a whole bunch of awesome mom friends who have just one kid or even four kids and can relate to me on so many levels. We pass along advice and praise back and forth and are constantly uplifting and thanking each other for being a warrior to lean on in this mom guilt war. I am so grateful to those ladies.

And now, to those who have judged me, either because of my divorce or because of my kid, I say, God bless you! You have made me stronger. And I hope you don’t have to deal with either hardship. While it does sometimes still bother me, I’ve learned that I need to let it go. When I see someone still judging me, now I have mom friends to lean on, that don’t judge, but commiserate, and lift me up, offer help and suggestions, and encouragement. And again I’m forever grateful to those ladies.

My charge to you today is to always look at your fellow players in the game of life as warriors just doing their best. Always give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t be quick to judge: you don’t know the shoes they are walking in. And mamas, you’re doing a great job! Just by worrying about your kid and all the aspects of their life, you’re already doing a great mom job.

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